A Congressional Referendum For Daytime Padiddle…

Remember Padiddle? Punchbuggy’s wonderful little cousin where one is beaten severely for being the last person in the car to notice an oncoming auto with one headlight burned out? Well, The European Union has announced a plan to have all automobiles in Europe equipped with “daylight running lights” which in effect is driving around with headlights on all the time. This got me thinking. What if we did this in the US? It’s been proposed. They say the effect on gas mileage will be minimal at best… Since I get nervously suspicious every time they start telling me what matters, I decided to whip out my calculator and start looking at the math…

…It is far, far from minimal...

Does This Blog Post Make My Ass Look Fat...!?

It could have been the involuntary fart that happened because he forgot to change the plate pin from 250 lbs. to 90 on the chest press…or maybe it was the fact he nearly crapped the abdominal machine… I’m not sure, but the point is there are some people that you just have to stare at while they work out.

I joined the gym for the same reasons everyone does – so I could look better, feel better, and not sweat when tying my shoes… OK…I wasn’t that out of shape, but I’ve certainly been much, much better. I’ve resigned myself to the fact I’m never going to be 22 again. I’ve resigned myself to the fact I’m not getting back my late-teens metabolism. But I refuse to believe that my fit days are up.

Joining a gym is a slippery venture. Comfort is the enemy of motivation. In the past, I couldn’t get my ass off the couch at 6:30 in the evening so I watched the clock until 7:30 and shrugged to myself that there is nothing I could do – it was too late. I couldn’t get my ass in gear in the morning to get to the gym and be on time for anything all day so I shrugged to myself and said I would do it that evening – around 6:30 or so… and so the cycle went. So my track record (no pun intended) has been that I wind up donating $45 to the YMCA or some other gym every month as some sort of tithe to the gods of fitness...

O Scoop, Scoop! Wherefore art thou Scoop?

I’m back. You’re welcome. It’s been quite a few months but I needed to focus my writing on some other projects… like a book. Yeah, some of you know about the book and some of you don’t. Up until now I've been pretty tight-lipped about it except for a few close friends and family. It’s a neat little (big) venture that I decided would be good for my soul since (I’m sure) my soul is damned to be stuck somewhere paying for my cynicisms…

Imagine that! An epic novel by me that we’ll see on bookshelves in 2014-2015 – imagine that! Writing and editing it so far has been both cathartic and therapeutic; and exciting and time-consuming. I find it surprisingly easy compared to what I thought it would be like...

So, anyway, in response to many of you who read Scoop’s Rant that have been emailing and asking what happened to me… I’m still here… Just a short while more and I’ll go back to ranting (part time) so hang in there… I’ll try to put something up between chapters. Look for another couple of posts within the next few weeks… I’ll get some stuff off my chest and onto yours… betcha…